Christmas in Tennessee

I knew that I had to get out of town. I wasn’t about to spend Christmas alone, playing martyr in front of the tree.

Visiting people is difficult when one doesn’t work. The people that you visit only have evenings and weekends to spend with you unless they take time off of work (or school). Plus many people have family plans around the holidays and a moping recently divorced person does not exactly scream “Holiday Spirit”.

I needed to be someplace where I could be myself, grieve if I needed and laugh if I were able. I needed the embrace of real friends, people who accept me whatever my mood, people who would understand my suffering but within which they would not allow me to wallow. I ran to Annette and Glenn in Tennessee.

Annette and Glenn retired early as well. With them I was able to talk about what it means to be retired, to find purpose, enjoyment and happiness without the trappings of employment.

(I should mention that with a huge house in Murfreesboro, a loft in Nashville, a four-bedroom houseboat on the lake, ski boats, a fleet of high-end cars, etc., they’ve got the enjoyment issue pretty nailed down.)

The day I arrived, Annette and I were so excited to see each other that we could hardly finish a sentence before moving onto the next subject.

The next day visitors from England arrived; Jeremy, his wife Christina (originally from Ecuador) and their six-month-old Josephine. Christina was so excited to be able to speak Spanish that she walked in the door and blew my head off. I quickly explained that she needed to speak slower and forgive my lack of vocabulary. And Josephine, the baby, I wanted to put her in my flight bag and bring her back with me. So cute and, as in so many Latin families, completely comfortable being passed from person to person, good natured, hardly a tear shed the entire visit. Jeremy has that quick British wit that makes one wonder why half the population is not stand-up comics. Their visit was thoroughly enjoyable. The night before they left, Jeremy told me that he didn’t really know any gay people and that I’d totally changed his impression. That he now feels that he has a “gay mate” and wants to take me to the pub in the village where he lives. He and Christina kept telling me that I have to visit and stay with them in their new house.

Annette and Glenn's daughter Stephanie, with baby Josephine

We played golf, dined in restaurants, cooked together, played guitars and sang, played games and just generally hung out. It was the perfect blend of activity and relaxation.

I returned to Mexico not healed but healthier, and well on the road to recovery. Our conversations helped me pull my head out of the Mexican sand and realize that the opportunities are virtually limitless and that this period in my life is not but a transition out of something stifling and into something exciting.

For their sage advice, their wisdom, their fresh perspective, their friendship and love, I thank Annette and Glenn from the bottom of my heart. They have booked their flights to visit me in April and I couldn’t be more excited.

After being back in San Miguel for a little over a week, I’m feeling the familiar pull of depression again. Aside from fear of running into Rod (and what that might bring up emotionally) part of it is probably the cold. We’ve had a mild winter thus far but now the nights are dropping below freezing. Days are beautiful but the house holds the night chill.

On a whim I looked at my teaching schedule and then looked up airfare to Puerto Escondido (where right now it is 80 degrees in the day and doesn’t drop below 70 at night). Flights are half the price given the short notice. I leave tomorrow for a week.

Alex is coming with me. We’ve been task by many people to look into real estate while we are there. Some have said that it is the last affordable beach front property in Mexico. It is supposed to be a surfer hang-out, the home of the “Mexican pipeline”. However, with only one flight per day from Mexico City, I think that it may be a little culturally remote as a place to live. Later, in the next few months, I hope to check out San Pancho and the state of Nayarit above Puerto Vallarta.

I’ve been thinking that, eventually, it might be nice to downsize and live someplace that is warm in the winter (even at night) so that I can travel in the summer. Any of these places would fit the bill. I’ve been getting flack when I mention leaving Mexico but no one seems to mind if I stay in Mexico and move to the beach. (But what about hurricanes?)