The Process of Healing

I often wonder if I am less efficient than others when it comes to recovering from breakups. Logically, I’m able to look at the situation and conclude that, yes, it didn’t work and it wasn’t going to work. Why then, do I subsequently spend so much time living in a fog? Probably because instead of living in what was and what is, I tend to live in what might have been. I walk through life as if my mind is swimming through jello. People talk to me, and I hear them, but it is as if their voices and my responses are passing through some sort of filter, slowing everything down. In my head I play and replay past conversations as well as future conversations that will never be had. Emotions ricochet between sorrow and sympathy, acceptance and anger, loss and betrayal, abandonment and enthusiasm.

There must be some comfort derived from having a familiar person around even if that person is annoying as hell. At some level I guess bad company was better than no company at all.

After my previous relationship I didn’t date seriously for 10 years. And that relationship only lasted 9 months where this one was nearly three years (although the entire last year pretty much sucked). How long before I’m normal again? Can someone please give me a deadline?

Time always seems to move so quickly except after a breakup. Everyone says that time will heal. Why then do the days seem longer than 24 hours, the weeks more than seven days and months take forever to end?